Why I'll be marching on Friday

Wednesday, November 08, 2006
12:49 am

Last week in my Hebrew class, my teacher brought up the Gay Pride Parade scheduled for this upcoming Friday in Jerusalem. It turned into a …shall we say lively 20-minute discussion/argument. For those who are unaware, there have been violent protests against the march for the past while, increasing when the decision was made to go ahead with it (along with 12 000 police officers). Once again, I was struck by the variety of views that people have. There is no ‘yes or no’ on this issue, as with most important ones. However with this in particular, perhaps because it’s a cause that I deeply care about, I was shocked. Students my age from some of the best universities in the world, who have all come to this land we love to study at Hebrew University, a secular institution of higher education, were bringing up points against this parade. Not necessarily against homosexuality in Judaism, though that was certainly discussed (the analogy was made by a particularly close-minded fellow student of mine with whom I have had the pleasure of going to school for seven years, that we are not allowed to grow pigs in Israel – which is not quite true – so we should not be allowed to march). They argued against holding a gay pride parade in the holiest city to Jews (funny, I thought that was Boca … sorry, I suppose this is not the time for my awful Yiddish-like humour).
Apparently my definition of holiness is different than other people. It could, I suppose, be argued that mine is immediately incorrect, as I do not consider myself to be an observant Jew – the phrase I heard from my mother growing up and that I have somewhat adopted is ‘Religious Reform,’ though recently I lean more toward ‘progressive.’ I have gone to Hebrew Day School for 14 years, though that does not make me a better Jew than anyone else who attended public school, nor does it mean that I am a lesser Jew because I did not attend Yeshiva, I do not wear skirts unless I choose to for a special occasion, and I do plan on covering my head when I get married (which will not be in the next few years). I know the laws, though not all in full detail (I’m still hazy on whether or not we’re supposed to give back a found wallet if the owner is not Jewish, and how many metres of grass my cattle can have if my neighbour is my brother in law. I believe that for my Judaism to mean something to me I must choose those adherences which enhance my spiritual growth. I do not believe in blind faith, though I find it a fascinating topic of study and often envy those who can subscribe to it.
I believe that the basis of holiness is the golden rule. Love thy neighbour as thyself. I believe that we must strive to go beyond that – try thinking of someone else first, though ensuring your own health and safety. I’ve heard arguments against this by people who bring up self-loathing, and those who do not treat themselves with dignity and honour. Perhaps it should be ‘love your neighbour as you wish you could love yourself.’ Through the loving of others we reach that beautiful, fulfilling place beyond self acceptance, and can reach self love.
I am in shock, I am frightened, and I am so disappointed by the events which are happening in Israel and indeed the entire world, but particularly the Jewish community, in regards to this march for pride and tolerance. I am in shock because as much as I am not so naïve to think that Jews do not commit sins against Jews (I just participated in Rabin’s memorial day with a moving ceremony in Kikar Rabin – accompanied by a Gaza protest, of course) I am disgusted and stunned at the scope to which people will use my religion, MY religion, OUR religion, and use it to incite hatred against a group of people who were born being attracted to people with a different combination of X and Y chromosomes than we are told is natural. Whose only sin is wanting to express that attraction and love without the common discrimination and violence that can be seen, and appallingly even now expected and accepted and somewhat institutionalized, here. I am shocked that a group who claims to and is seen to represent the epitome of my religion, the core of it, those who protect it, will use my religion to disobey what I see as far more important laws in order to subjugate another group who are doing nothing to them personally. These important laws are led with our friend the Golden Rule. They include respect for all people, accepting/welcoming the stranger, and recognizing that EVERYONE is created in the image of God. I find those to be so much more important and basic to this religion which is so integral in their lives than ensuring that one group which, according to traditional Jewish law, is not permitted to express their feelings openly (it does not say that one cannot have these feelings, by the way – we just can’t act on them) will not speak out against prejudice in a legal gathering which is their basic right as well.
I am frightened. Not only a knot in the pit of my stomach that something will happen while I am at the rally, which I will not outwardly share with people because I am so adamant about the importance of going but also the cause of the reason I am not directly convincing people who are on the fence to go, perhaps in order to avoid my own guilt should something, God forbid, happen. I am also frightened both for my faith personally, and the future of the religion as a whole. Me personally, I am afraid of losing faith. Why should I want to stay a part of a religion which condones this violent, immoral and, in my eyes, sac-religious behaviour? It is only my personal beliefs and the faith in my community that are holding me in. It is my drive to change rather than run away, and to know that they best way to do that is from the inside and with a dedicated heart and soul. For the religion, I don’t see how the rest of the world can’t detest us right now. For the progressive and ambivalent of the world, they see an archaic, violent people which will not stand by each other when we hurt. For those who hate us already, they have more reason and see us as divided and weak – what better opportunity to strike than when we cannot agree on who gets to march and where, and who is allowed whom in their private bed, never mind holding hands in the street.
This blurb was in the Jerusalem Post today:

When tolerance is tyranny
By Ellen W. Horowitz
This isn't about minority rights or freedoms of expression and assembly. It is about the deliberate trampling of the religious and moral sensitivities of the people of Jerusalem, and of those who hold that physical intimacy and sexual expression should be sacred and private.

I disagree, Ms. Horowitz. This IS about freedoms. Freedom of expression and assembly, and also freedom from fear, persecution from our communities and families. Religious and moral sensitivities? If we always ensured not to tread on religious and moral sensitivities, and set the bar as high as possible for that, we would not be doing a lot of things right now. Do you enjoy singing? Sorry, no more of that if a man can hear you. Do you like the way that your lips pucker? Sorry, we’ll need to cover it up with a full-body burkha. You enjoy health coverage when sick? Sorry, your heart problems are up to God now.
Of course physical intimacy and sexual expression are private. This same argument has been made in many discussions I’ve had, and I don’t disagree. These are most certainly sacred, and the acts are private. What we are marching for is tolerance of that intimacy and expression. This is not called the ‘naked gay orgy in the old city on top of the Torah scrolls while licking pictures of the Rebbe.’ It’s the Pride March of Tolerance, in a secular neighbourhood, that no one needs to go to. They could very easily stay home – in fact, the place they moved it to this morning (the moved it from, ironically enough, Independence and Liberty Bell Park, to the Givat Ram campus of the Hebrew University) makes it quite difficult to get to; certainly no one is going to just accidentally pass by and thereby get defiled. The argument that ‘those gays are just trying to cause a stir and cause trouble’ is absurd. First of all, I’m quite sure that this march would not be happening if not crucial. The discrimination and violence have reached highs which are a revolting record, and there have been too many incidents of police not only not helping but getting involved in the violent acts. Secondly, the trouble is not being caused by the people arguing for freedom in a city which preaches exactly that. It is being caused by those who won’t accept it. The organizers were told by Orthodox leaders that they were provoking violence. They responded that there should therefore not be violence; plain and simple, just don’t do it. The retort was they can’t control that, and that they have been sufficiently warned.

I am so disappointed. I am appalled that this is happening with my own people. I am outraged that more people are not speaking up, and that the world has not turned this into such an issue that no one would dare try to respond to the call sent out that ‘God will reward those who smite the children of Sodom and Gemorrah’ – actual text from flyers handed out (there’s actually a cash reward now from some Chareidi communities for those who hurt participants in the parade – I heard it’s 80 000 shekels [about $20 000] – along with a rush on your place in the naughty or nice list).
Most of all, I am so sad. This is what we’re coming to? The only time that Jewish, Christian and Muslim leaders in Jerusalem are able to come together to agree on and fight for an issue together is not about peace for the innocents of the world and security of human rights, but is about harming those in their own community, and taking away the rights afforded to them as to all peoples. It’s about telling people that acting on what they feel is wrong; that their love is wrong.
That baffles me. I don’t see love that does not hurt the involved parties as wrong. I know that there is immoral behaviour that happens in acting on love, particularly when others are personally betrayed and offended, but expressing love reciprocally with another person is not wrong, no matter what is between their legs or what they see when they look in a mirror. I don’t want to live in a place where love like that can be wrong. Right now I’m still fighting for it, and I pray to God that I will still have the strength to fight for it as long as necessary. I don’t want to lose that drive, but there is only so much one can take. I’m fighting, but I’m scared.
Well, at least we know how to solve the peace issues in this area. Stage a pride protest once a week. That’ll keep them so busy, they won’t have time to bulldoze homes or strap bombs to themselves in pizzerias. I wonder if anyone’s ever thought of proposing that one.
I sure hope not.
In the meantime, I’ll be there proudly on Friday, barricaded in a tiny, non-residential, fully secular area, surrounded by 12 000 police officers holding back the angry fellow Jews who want to hurt because of love. My head will be held high, and I will be praying to God to keep me safe, asking God to allow the others to understand and tolerate or even accept, and thanking the same God for creating diversity, determination, passion, and love.
I sure hope it works.
If it doesn’t this time, it will next time. For as long as is necessary, until one day I’ll be able to look at my grandkids and, like the brave women who fought for suffrage, and like those today who were involved in the civil rights movements, say “You’ll never believe what we had to fight for when I was your age…”


The official website of the march (you can click on English in the left side)
http://www.worldpride.net/index.php?id=368
-It's the Jerusalem Open House

Articles from today:
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1162378347223&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull – one of my favourite articles on the issue

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1162378335639&pagename=JPost/JPArticle/ShowFull