On Thursday night, I went out with a few of the girls to a club after some drinks at a bar. The occassion? Ushering in the sweet month of December with a vow that it would be more exciting than November (though really, it's never boring here). Usher it in we did, with some drinks, dancing, and new 'Raeli friends. The revelry only ended at around 3:30 am, at which point we made our way home. I love my friends here so much - every minute is another ridiculous story. We can argue the merits of being a Diaspora Jew and a Zionist over a well-prepared dinner one evening, and act like freshmen sorority girls and take absurd photo montages the next.
I woke up on Friday at around 13:30 (time here is military, remember - which, after a few weeks of quick frustrating math in my head and being late to class, I've grown to love and see the merits of) and got ready to go out. I spent Shabbos with my Orthodox cousins in Har Nof, a religious area of Jerusalem - Tzvi, Mimi and their eight boys. I arrived all decked out in long skirt and high neck, and from the beginning it was like it had been only last week that I spent time with them, not 6 years - I saw them at the Bar Mitzvah a month ago, but we weren't able to really talk, of course. They are such warm, welcoming people, and I find it really incredible how they both have full-time jobs and a home to take care of and studying to do, and yet are such loving, attentive parents to each of their children ... and to the many others which constantly come in and out. The kids themselves are great - I spent more time with the younger ones since the older ones were away at Yeshiva, and by the end we were playing with magnets and trucks, they were laughing at my accent (their Hebrew is SO Ashkenazic it's hard to understand) and they were exposed for the first time to a nose ring (which then became my nickname - lovely). Dinner was fantastic, and it was so wonderful being all together and having stimulating conversation with everyone there - 6 of the 8 boys, Tzvi and Mimi, and two other guests around my age from a neighbouring yeshiva. Turns out one of them is my cousin, of course. I stayed with them overnight - my roommate was Yona, the five year old, who woke me up early by jumping on me, giggling and chanting 'Ring! Ring Ring!' Shabbat was filled with playing with the kids, talking to Mimi, many meals between the prayer times, and some truly invigorating 'downtime,' which involves everyone settling down to nap, curling up with a book, starting a game of chess, or in my case, a bit of all three. I ended up trying to explain Gary Larson comics to the youngest cousins. Have you ever tried to do that, especially to kids whose first language is not English and couldn't recognize political satire if it bit them? It's funny.
I left after Havdallah , which was a beautiful, quick ceremony - the lights were turned off as the blessing over the candles was said, and it was lovely. I could truly feel the spirituality invested in it. Immediately as it was over, lights were turned off, music was turned on, cell phones came out, and the honking began. Shabbos was a real rest, in every sense of the word. It feels so meaningful to truly celebrate the Shabbos as commanded, and though it's not something that I could do on a regular basis as I'd feel hypocitical not believing in the full message of it and the charge from which it came, I enjoy it so much.
I went back to my apartment to shower and change, then took a shuttle to Tel Aviv to meet up with camp Mishlachat. We went to Daniel's house - 'we' was Talya, who I have seen twice since coming here, and Shaki and Alechko who I hadn't seen yet and from whom I got those fabulous hugs I always look forward to. We had a great time reminiscing and catching up on what we've been doing since camp - and I got to hear some crazy stories from the summer to which I was not party but had heard rumours of, and last night was privileged with full epics, reenactments and all. I stayed over at Daniel's, and we had a wonderful time just watching TV (I love Hebrew subtitles) and talking, and then he drove me back in the morning - he lives in the building beside me since he's a Hebrew U student as well.
The UNHCR staff are all in Morocco for a conference this week, so I'm not going in to work on Monday. I'm taking advantage of it to do some work, go to the gym before the 17:00 rush, and go downtown to do a few errands then meet up with a few friends for some gift shopping. Chanukkah is fast approaching, and though I won't be able to give gifts to all, I'd like to find some special items for a few people.
Seems like it should be a good week - Rothberg talent show (which is going to be hysterical), some live music and a dinner planned, a possible Haifa trip this weekend, working on my paper about the Sinai Campaign, and some more work on the things I do all the time ... ie. try to figure out my future, only to change it the next day.
I'm trying to accept the fact that it seems as though volunteering in Africa during the winter break is just not going to work out. The plane tickets are so expensive, which is a bit ironic when you think about the fact that the majority of people on the continent live on less than a dollar a day. Sad that wanting to help has to be cost-prohibitive. But that's all right - I know that I'll get there to volunteer someday, and for a longer time. During the break I'll volunteer around the country, perhaps get a job if I can find one and can get my visa, and the few friends who are also staying here over the break are planing some great trips around this fair land. I can also work on a few of my longer-term projects then.
So, I wish for all of you strength to deal with the above-average amount of absurdity in the Canadian government this week (Stephan Dion on the 4th ballot?? Quebec is a 'nation within a nation'??) and a shavua tov.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
I'm trying harder on this 'update' thing
Saturday, November 25, 2006 3:39 pm
Well, I’ve had a Thanksgiving-filled weekend, which I find humourous for several reasons – mainly that it’s my first Thanksgiving, and I’m in Israel.
On Thursday night there was a dinner sponsored by UJC and hosted by Hillel (yes, there’s a Hillel at Hebrew U) at a hotel. It was very classy and lovely. Apparently, it was not traditional, food-wise and other, but I still greatly enjoyed myself. There was some creepy mime-like act, where they walked around silently and dramatically for a while, juggling and handing out roses, and then performed something which was about a nest and a carrot – the point of which I truly couldn’t tell you. There were some speeches and a pretty impressive d’var Torah. A band called Boom Pam performed as well – they began, and it was some kind of traditional Mizrachi-type music. People immediately got up and started dancing, which was a ton of fun. At first it was folk dancing, and the Frenchies in the group started doing some Fiddler on the Roof/19th-century Russian dance. After dinner was a DJ, and nearly everyone was on the dance floor as DJ Tzachi led us progressively back in time with his remixes of some songs which we’re all embarrassed to admit that we know the words to – and indeed sing along with. I ended up dancing the night away, which was unexpected but a ton of fun. It was, as we began calling it, the Thanksgiving Bar Mitzvah.
The next morning, I went with 8 friends to an annual 8km race held in memory of my friend Meryl’s cousin who died in a freak accident 5 years ago when he was a teenager. Her parents were in for the occasion (as well as to visit her) and there were about 300 participants, plus the race staff (mostly family members and close friends). The race was around and up a mountain just outside of Jerusalem – gorgeous view. I had a ton of fun, and it was a really incredible community event – I could tell that there were people who do this every year, and a lot of people who clearly cared a great deal about Tani (the guy’s name).
After the race, we went home nice and sweaty to prepare for Shabbat. We and the boys across the hall were hosting a big potluck Thanksgiving/Shabbat dinner for about 30 people. It was fabulous – our apartments all day were cooking central, trying to ensure that everything would get done in time and be kosher too. The food was amazing, the company excellent, and there was some fantastic music afterward courtesy of some grad students who brought their guitars and harmonicas.
…Sunday, November 26, 2006 2:37 pm
Saturday was a lazy day, which was fabulous. I was going to go into Tel Aviv in the evening to see camp friends, but at the last minute it didn’t work out with them so we rescheduled for next week...again. I don’t care if they do this to me again next weekend- I’m going in and forcing them to see me. So instead I went out with Meryl and her parents and her boyfriend from last year, Adam (who I saw when I was in Greece with Meryl and Sarah – he’s doing a program there) and a bunch of friends – they took us to a great restaurant, Biet Ticho, which is delicious and has a really fascinating history too. Every friend’s parents that have come in to town have gone out with us and bought a meal or drinks – more than generous and really unnecessary, but it’s been excellent being able to meet and hang out with them, as adults.
After dinner a few of us went out for drinks at O’Connell’s, and I came back to help David with his paper, study a bit and get things together for the week.
All in all, a fantastic weekend.
Monday, November 27, 2006, 10:07 pm
I had the first part of my Hebrew midterm this morning – mostly ‘unseen’ passages and fill-in-the-blanks, and I think that I did pretty well on it. I used the internet labs after, since for some reason my computer hates the World Wide Web right now and I have to use every moment that I can find to catch up on e-mail and the news. Then it was work (UNHCR) where I mostly made protection letters for refugees awaiting word on their status, and a lot of filing – this internship is letting me miss one hour of gym a week since my arms are being worked more than ever as I climb on chairs and ladders to grab 10kg binders from top shelves a metre above my head. I got a few errands finished after, and came home to study for the second part of my Hebrew midterm tomorrow morning – it’s grammar and other such fun, so I need to prepare. This is my study break in between cause-and-effect words and present participles. Now back to it. Wish me luck!
Well, I’ve had a Thanksgiving-filled weekend, which I find humourous for several reasons – mainly that it’s my first Thanksgiving, and I’m in Israel.
On Thursday night there was a dinner sponsored by UJC and hosted by Hillel (yes, there’s a Hillel at Hebrew U) at a hotel. It was very classy and lovely. Apparently, it was not traditional, food-wise and other, but I still greatly enjoyed myself. There was some creepy mime-like act, where they walked around silently and dramatically for a while, juggling and handing out roses, and then performed something which was about a nest and a carrot – the point of which I truly couldn’t tell you. There were some speeches and a pretty impressive d’var Torah. A band called Boom Pam performed as well – they began, and it was some kind of traditional Mizrachi-type music. People immediately got up and started dancing, which was a ton of fun. At first it was folk dancing, and the Frenchies in the group started doing some Fiddler on the Roof/19th-century Russian dance. After dinner was a DJ, and nearly everyone was on the dance floor as DJ Tzachi led us progressively back in time with his remixes of some songs which we’re all embarrassed to admit that we know the words to – and indeed sing along with. I ended up dancing the night away, which was unexpected but a ton of fun. It was, as we began calling it, the Thanksgiving Bar Mitzvah.
The next morning, I went with 8 friends to an annual 8km race held in memory of my friend Meryl’s cousin who died in a freak accident 5 years ago when he was a teenager. Her parents were in for the occasion (as well as to visit her) and there were about 300 participants, plus the race staff (mostly family members and close friends). The race was around and up a mountain just outside of Jerusalem – gorgeous view. I had a ton of fun, and it was a really incredible community event – I could tell that there were people who do this every year, and a lot of people who clearly cared a great deal about Tani (the guy’s name).
After the race, we went home nice and sweaty to prepare for Shabbat. We and the boys across the hall were hosting a big potluck Thanksgiving/Shabbat dinner for about 30 people. It was fabulous – our apartments all day were cooking central, trying to ensure that everything would get done in time and be kosher too. The food was amazing, the company excellent, and there was some fantastic music afterward courtesy of some grad students who brought their guitars and harmonicas.
…Sunday, November 26, 2006 2:37 pm
Saturday was a lazy day, which was fabulous. I was going to go into Tel Aviv in the evening to see camp friends, but at the last minute it didn’t work out with them so we rescheduled for next week...again. I don’t care if they do this to me again next weekend- I’m going in and forcing them to see me. So instead I went out with Meryl and her parents and her boyfriend from last year, Adam (who I saw when I was in Greece with Meryl and Sarah – he’s doing a program there) and a bunch of friends – they took us to a great restaurant, Biet Ticho, which is delicious and has a really fascinating history too. Every friend’s parents that have come in to town have gone out with us and bought a meal or drinks – more than generous and really unnecessary, but it’s been excellent being able to meet and hang out with them, as adults.
After dinner a few of us went out for drinks at O’Connell’s, and I came back to help David with his paper, study a bit and get things together for the week.
All in all, a fantastic weekend.
Monday, November 27, 2006, 10:07 pm
I had the first part of my Hebrew midterm this morning – mostly ‘unseen’ passages and fill-in-the-blanks, and I think that I did pretty well on it. I used the internet labs after, since for some reason my computer hates the World Wide Web right now and I have to use every moment that I can find to catch up on e-mail and the news. Then it was work (UNHCR) where I mostly made protection letters for refugees awaiting word on their status, and a lot of filing – this internship is letting me miss one hour of gym a week since my arms are being worked more than ever as I climb on chairs and ladders to grab 10kg binders from top shelves a metre above my head. I got a few errands finished after, and came home to study for the second part of my Hebrew midterm tomorrow morning – it’s grammar and other such fun, so I need to prepare. This is my study break in between cause-and-effect words and present participles. Now back to it. Wish me luck!
Monday, November 13, 2006
That's a lot of rainbow in the Holy Land
So after all of that...
The march was changed into a rally at the stadium of the Givat Ram campus of Hebrew university because of the upped security threats after the Gaza attacks last week. This meant that the police at the rally could be scaled down to 3000 from 12000, and the others could ensure that the rest of the country is safe. It's a shame that the march could not happen, but I understand why and I'm proud that a mature and pragmatic decision was made, which was still a compromise and not a defeat, and was still loud, proud and somewhat visible.
There were some speakers, some bands, and a whole lot of revelry. All in all, a good time, though sort of anti-climactic after all of the discussions and violence. I suppose that's a good thing - once in a while, true courage is knowing when to back off a little bit.
I was supposed to go down to the kibbutz right after, as I haven't been there in far too long and I miss it. However, being the smart cookie that I am, I missed the bus by less than 30 seconds, and it was the last bus before Shabbos. So I ended up going back home where my apartment was hosting a big Shabbat dinner anyway, which was a great time. I love the traditional rituals that we often follow when we do Shabbos together, but this time it was fantastic for me to be able to lead kiddush without making anyone uncomfortable. The rest of the weekend was lovely - sleep-filled and lazy, until back to the grind ... though not so much of a grind.
I had an interesting day at work today (at the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees). I was doing some researcg, investigating the validity of claims about certain events and people. I was focusing on Nigeria, and particularly on the movement to free Biafra, which is an issue that I am somewhat familiar with but not deeply. I'm pretty sure that after three hours of that I can now write a policy paper. It was also so satisfying to find the one date I'd been looking for after over an hour of chasing possible keywords and non-verifiable links.
Will (one of my suitemates) and I upped our prank-ish war today, as the fisticuffs included chapstick. Needless to say, my face is still tingling, but I'm looking forward to Will trying to clean his teeth tonight what with a litte surprise on his brush. I need to really up the game after his shower prank. Any suggestions are more than welcome.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Why I'll be marching on Friday
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
12:49 am
Last week in my Hebrew class, my teacher brought up the Gay Pride Parade scheduled for this upcoming Friday in Jerusalem. It turned into a …shall we say lively 20-minute discussion/argument. For those who are unaware, there have been violent protests against the march for the past while, increasing when the decision was made to go ahead with it (along with 12 000 police officers). Once again, I was struck by the variety of views that people have. There is no ‘yes or no’ on this issue, as with most important ones. However with this in particular, perhaps because it’s a cause that I deeply care about, I was shocked. Students my age from some of the best universities in the world, who have all come to this land we love to study at Hebrew University, a secular institution of higher education, were bringing up points against this parade. Not necessarily against homosexuality in Judaism, though that was certainly discussed (the analogy was made by a particularly close-minded fellow student of mine with whom I have had the pleasure of going to school for seven years, that we are not allowed to grow pigs in Israel – which is not quite true – so we should not be allowed to march). They argued against holding a gay pride parade in the holiest city to Jews (funny, I thought that was Boca … sorry, I suppose this is not the time for my awful Yiddish-like humour).
Apparently my definition of holiness is different than other people. It could, I suppose, be argued that mine is immediately incorrect, as I do not consider myself to be an observant Jew – the phrase I heard from my mother growing up and that I have somewhat adopted is ‘Religious Reform,’ though recently I lean more toward ‘progressive.’ I have gone to Hebrew Day School for 14 years, though that does not make me a better Jew than anyone else who attended public school, nor does it mean that I am a lesser Jew because I did not attend Yeshiva, I do not wear skirts unless I choose to for a special occasion, and I do plan on covering my head when I get married (which will not be in the next few years). I know the laws, though not all in full detail (I’m still hazy on whether or not we’re supposed to give back a found wallet if the owner is not Jewish, and how many metres of grass my cattle can have if my neighbour is my brother in law. I believe that for my Judaism to mean something to me I must choose those adherences which enhance my spiritual growth. I do not believe in blind faith, though I find it a fascinating topic of study and often envy those who can subscribe to it.
I believe that the basis of holiness is the golden rule. Love thy neighbour as thyself. I believe that we must strive to go beyond that – try thinking of someone else first, though ensuring your own health and safety. I’ve heard arguments against this by people who bring up self-loathing, and those who do not treat themselves with dignity and honour. Perhaps it should be ‘love your neighbour as you wish you could love yourself.’ Through the loving of others we reach that beautiful, fulfilling place beyond self acceptance, and can reach self love.
I am in shock, I am frightened, and I am so disappointed by the events which are happening in Israel and indeed the entire world, but particularly the Jewish community, in regards to this march for pride and tolerance. I am in shock because as much as I am not so naïve to think that Jews do not commit sins against Jews (I just participated in Rabin’s memorial day with a moving ceremony in Kikar Rabin – accompanied by a Gaza protest, of course) I am disgusted and stunned at the scope to which people will use my religion, MY religion, OUR religion, and use it to incite hatred against a group of people who were born being attracted to people with a different combination of X and Y chromosomes than we are told is natural. Whose only sin is wanting to express that attraction and love without the common discrimination and violence that can be seen, and appallingly even now expected and accepted and somewhat institutionalized, here. I am shocked that a group who claims to and is seen to represent the epitome of my religion, the core of it, those who protect it, will use my religion to disobey what I see as far more important laws in order to subjugate another group who are doing nothing to them personally. These important laws are led with our friend the Golden Rule. They include respect for all people, accepting/welcoming the stranger, and recognizing that EVERYONE is created in the image of God. I find those to be so much more important and basic to this religion which is so integral in their lives than ensuring that one group which, according to traditional Jewish law, is not permitted to express their feelings openly (it does not say that one cannot have these feelings, by the way – we just can’t act on them) will not speak out against prejudice in a legal gathering which is their basic right as well.
I am frightened. Not only a knot in the pit of my stomach that something will happen while I am at the rally, which I will not outwardly share with people because I am so adamant about the importance of going but also the cause of the reason I am not directly convincing people who are on the fence to go, perhaps in order to avoid my own guilt should something, God forbid, happen. I am also frightened both for my faith personally, and the future of the religion as a whole. Me personally, I am afraid of losing faith. Why should I want to stay a part of a religion which condones this violent, immoral and, in my eyes, sac-religious behaviour? It is only my personal beliefs and the faith in my community that are holding me in. It is my drive to change rather than run away, and to know that they best way to do that is from the inside and with a dedicated heart and soul. For the religion, I don’t see how the rest of the world can’t detest us right now. For the progressive and ambivalent of the world, they see an archaic, violent people which will not stand by each other when we hurt. For those who hate us already, they have more reason and see us as divided and weak – what better opportunity to strike than when we cannot agree on who gets to march and where, and who is allowed whom in their private bed, never mind holding hands in the street.
This blurb was in the Jerusalem Post today:
When tolerance is tyranny
By Ellen W. Horowitz
This isn't about minority rights or freedoms of expression and assembly. It is about the deliberate trampling of the religious and moral sensitivities of the people of Jerusalem, and of those who hold that physical intimacy and sexual expression should be sacred and private.
I disagree, Ms. Horowitz. This IS about freedoms. Freedom of expression and assembly, and also freedom from fear, persecution from our communities and families. Religious and moral sensitivities? If we always ensured not to tread on religious and moral sensitivities, and set the bar as high as possible for that, we would not be doing a lot of things right now. Do you enjoy singing? Sorry, no more of that if a man can hear you. Do you like the way that your lips pucker? Sorry, we’ll need to cover it up with a full-body burkha. You enjoy health coverage when sick? Sorry, your heart problems are up to God now.
Of course physical intimacy and sexual expression are private. This same argument has been made in many discussions I’ve had, and I don’t disagree. These are most certainly sacred, and the acts are private. What we are marching for is tolerance of that intimacy and expression. This is not called the ‘naked gay orgy in the old city on top of the Torah scrolls while licking pictures of the Rebbe.’ It’s the Pride March of Tolerance, in a secular neighbourhood, that no one needs to go to. They could very easily stay home – in fact, the place they moved it to this morning (the moved it from, ironically enough, Independence and Liberty Bell Park, to the Givat Ram campus of the Hebrew University) makes it quite difficult to get to; certainly no one is going to just accidentally pass by and thereby get defiled. The argument that ‘those gays are just trying to cause a stir and cause trouble’ is absurd. First of all, I’m quite sure that this march would not be happening if not crucial. The discrimination and violence have reached highs which are a revolting record, and there have been too many incidents of police not only not helping but getting involved in the violent acts. Secondly, the trouble is not being caused by the people arguing for freedom in a city which preaches exactly that. It is being caused by those who won’t accept it. The organizers were told by Orthodox leaders that they were provoking violence. They responded that there should therefore not be violence; plain and simple, just don’t do it. The retort was they can’t control that, and that they have been sufficiently warned.
I am so disappointed. I am appalled that this is happening with my own people. I am outraged that more people are not speaking up, and that the world has not turned this into such an issue that no one would dare try to respond to the call sent out that ‘God will reward those who smite the children of Sodom and Gemorrah’ – actual text from flyers handed out (there’s actually a cash reward now from some Chareidi communities for those who hurt participants in the parade – I heard it’s 80 000 shekels [about $20 000] – along with a rush on your place in the naughty or nice list).
Most of all, I am so sad. This is what we’re coming to? The only time that Jewish, Christian and Muslim leaders in Jerusalem are able to come together to agree on and fight for an issue together is not about peace for the innocents of the world and security of human rights, but is about harming those in their own community, and taking away the rights afforded to them as to all peoples. It’s about telling people that acting on what they feel is wrong; that their love is wrong.
That baffles me. I don’t see love that does not hurt the involved parties as wrong. I know that there is immoral behaviour that happens in acting on love, particularly when others are personally betrayed and offended, but expressing love reciprocally with another person is not wrong, no matter what is between their legs or what they see when they look in a mirror. I don’t want to live in a place where love like that can be wrong. Right now I’m still fighting for it, and I pray to God that I will still have the strength to fight for it as long as necessary. I don’t want to lose that drive, but there is only so much one can take. I’m fighting, but I’m scared.
Well, at least we know how to solve the peace issues in this area. Stage a pride protest once a week. That’ll keep them so busy, they won’t have time to bulldoze homes or strap bombs to themselves in pizzerias. I wonder if anyone’s ever thought of proposing that one.
I sure hope not.
In the meantime, I’ll be there proudly on Friday, barricaded in a tiny, non-residential, fully secular area, surrounded by 12 000 police officers holding back the angry fellow Jews who want to hurt because of love. My head will be held high, and I will be praying to God to keep me safe, asking God to allow the others to understand and tolerate or even accept, and thanking the same God for creating diversity, determination, passion, and love.
I sure hope it works.
If it doesn’t this time, it will next time. For as long as is necessary, until one day I’ll be able to look at my grandkids and, like the brave women who fought for suffrage, and like those today who were involved in the civil rights movements, say “You’ll never believe what we had to fight for when I was your age…”
The official website of the march (you can click on English in the left side)
http://www.worldpride.net/index.php?id=368
-It's the Jerusalem Open House
Articles from today:
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1162378347223&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull – one of my favourite articles on the issue
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1162378335639&pagename=JPost/JPArticle/ShowFull
12:49 am
Last week in my Hebrew class, my teacher brought up the Gay Pride Parade scheduled for this upcoming Friday in Jerusalem. It turned into a …shall we say lively 20-minute discussion/argument. For those who are unaware, there have been violent protests against the march for the past while, increasing when the decision was made to go ahead with it (along with 12 000 police officers). Once again, I was struck by the variety of views that people have. There is no ‘yes or no’ on this issue, as with most important ones. However with this in particular, perhaps because it’s a cause that I deeply care about, I was shocked. Students my age from some of the best universities in the world, who have all come to this land we love to study at Hebrew University, a secular institution of higher education, were bringing up points against this parade. Not necessarily against homosexuality in Judaism, though that was certainly discussed (the analogy was made by a particularly close-minded fellow student of mine with whom I have had the pleasure of going to school for seven years, that we are not allowed to grow pigs in Israel – which is not quite true – so we should not be allowed to march). They argued against holding a gay pride parade in the holiest city to Jews (funny, I thought that was Boca … sorry, I suppose this is not the time for my awful Yiddish-like humour).
Apparently my definition of holiness is different than other people. It could, I suppose, be argued that mine is immediately incorrect, as I do not consider myself to be an observant Jew – the phrase I heard from my mother growing up and that I have somewhat adopted is ‘Religious Reform,’ though recently I lean more toward ‘progressive.’ I have gone to Hebrew Day School for 14 years, though that does not make me a better Jew than anyone else who attended public school, nor does it mean that I am a lesser Jew because I did not attend Yeshiva, I do not wear skirts unless I choose to for a special occasion, and I do plan on covering my head when I get married (which will not be in the next few years). I know the laws, though not all in full detail (I’m still hazy on whether or not we’re supposed to give back a found wallet if the owner is not Jewish, and how many metres of grass my cattle can have if my neighbour is my brother in law. I believe that for my Judaism to mean something to me I must choose those adherences which enhance my spiritual growth. I do not believe in blind faith, though I find it a fascinating topic of study and often envy those who can subscribe to it.
I believe that the basis of holiness is the golden rule. Love thy neighbour as thyself. I believe that we must strive to go beyond that – try thinking of someone else first, though ensuring your own health and safety. I’ve heard arguments against this by people who bring up self-loathing, and those who do not treat themselves with dignity and honour. Perhaps it should be ‘love your neighbour as you wish you could love yourself.’ Through the loving of others we reach that beautiful, fulfilling place beyond self acceptance, and can reach self love.
I am in shock, I am frightened, and I am so disappointed by the events which are happening in Israel and indeed the entire world, but particularly the Jewish community, in regards to this march for pride and tolerance. I am in shock because as much as I am not so naïve to think that Jews do not commit sins against Jews (I just participated in Rabin’s memorial day with a moving ceremony in Kikar Rabin – accompanied by a Gaza protest, of course) I am disgusted and stunned at the scope to which people will use my religion, MY religion, OUR religion, and use it to incite hatred against a group of people who were born being attracted to people with a different combination of X and Y chromosomes than we are told is natural. Whose only sin is wanting to express that attraction and love without the common discrimination and violence that can be seen, and appallingly even now expected and accepted and somewhat institutionalized, here. I am shocked that a group who claims to and is seen to represent the epitome of my religion, the core of it, those who protect it, will use my religion to disobey what I see as far more important laws in order to subjugate another group who are doing nothing to them personally. These important laws are led with our friend the Golden Rule. They include respect for all people, accepting/welcoming the stranger, and recognizing that EVERYONE is created in the image of God. I find those to be so much more important and basic to this religion which is so integral in their lives than ensuring that one group which, according to traditional Jewish law, is not permitted to express their feelings openly (it does not say that one cannot have these feelings, by the way – we just can’t act on them) will not speak out against prejudice in a legal gathering which is their basic right as well.
I am frightened. Not only a knot in the pit of my stomach that something will happen while I am at the rally, which I will not outwardly share with people because I am so adamant about the importance of going but also the cause of the reason I am not directly convincing people who are on the fence to go, perhaps in order to avoid my own guilt should something, God forbid, happen. I am also frightened both for my faith personally, and the future of the religion as a whole. Me personally, I am afraid of losing faith. Why should I want to stay a part of a religion which condones this violent, immoral and, in my eyes, sac-religious behaviour? It is only my personal beliefs and the faith in my community that are holding me in. It is my drive to change rather than run away, and to know that they best way to do that is from the inside and with a dedicated heart and soul. For the religion, I don’t see how the rest of the world can’t detest us right now. For the progressive and ambivalent of the world, they see an archaic, violent people which will not stand by each other when we hurt. For those who hate us already, they have more reason and see us as divided and weak – what better opportunity to strike than when we cannot agree on who gets to march and where, and who is allowed whom in their private bed, never mind holding hands in the street.
This blurb was in the Jerusalem Post today:
When tolerance is tyranny
By Ellen W. Horowitz
This isn't about minority rights or freedoms of expression and assembly. It is about the deliberate trampling of the religious and moral sensitivities of the people of Jerusalem, and of those who hold that physical intimacy and sexual expression should be sacred and private.
I disagree, Ms. Horowitz. This IS about freedoms. Freedom of expression and assembly, and also freedom from fear, persecution from our communities and families. Religious and moral sensitivities? If we always ensured not to tread on religious and moral sensitivities, and set the bar as high as possible for that, we would not be doing a lot of things right now. Do you enjoy singing? Sorry, no more of that if a man can hear you. Do you like the way that your lips pucker? Sorry, we’ll need to cover it up with a full-body burkha. You enjoy health coverage when sick? Sorry, your heart problems are up to God now.
Of course physical intimacy and sexual expression are private. This same argument has been made in many discussions I’ve had, and I don’t disagree. These are most certainly sacred, and the acts are private. What we are marching for is tolerance of that intimacy and expression. This is not called the ‘naked gay orgy in the old city on top of the Torah scrolls while licking pictures of the Rebbe.’ It’s the Pride March of Tolerance, in a secular neighbourhood, that no one needs to go to. They could very easily stay home – in fact, the place they moved it to this morning (the moved it from, ironically enough, Independence and Liberty Bell Park, to the Givat Ram campus of the Hebrew University) makes it quite difficult to get to; certainly no one is going to just accidentally pass by and thereby get defiled. The argument that ‘those gays are just trying to cause a stir and cause trouble’ is absurd. First of all, I’m quite sure that this march would not be happening if not crucial. The discrimination and violence have reached highs which are a revolting record, and there have been too many incidents of police not only not helping but getting involved in the violent acts. Secondly, the trouble is not being caused by the people arguing for freedom in a city which preaches exactly that. It is being caused by those who won’t accept it. The organizers were told by Orthodox leaders that they were provoking violence. They responded that there should therefore not be violence; plain and simple, just don’t do it. The retort was they can’t control that, and that they have been sufficiently warned.
I am so disappointed. I am appalled that this is happening with my own people. I am outraged that more people are not speaking up, and that the world has not turned this into such an issue that no one would dare try to respond to the call sent out that ‘God will reward those who smite the children of Sodom and Gemorrah’ – actual text from flyers handed out (there’s actually a cash reward now from some Chareidi communities for those who hurt participants in the parade – I heard it’s 80 000 shekels [about $20 000] – along with a rush on your place in the naughty or nice list).
Most of all, I am so sad. This is what we’re coming to? The only time that Jewish, Christian and Muslim leaders in Jerusalem are able to come together to agree on and fight for an issue together is not about peace for the innocents of the world and security of human rights, but is about harming those in their own community, and taking away the rights afforded to them as to all peoples. It’s about telling people that acting on what they feel is wrong; that their love is wrong.
That baffles me. I don’t see love that does not hurt the involved parties as wrong. I know that there is immoral behaviour that happens in acting on love, particularly when others are personally betrayed and offended, but expressing love reciprocally with another person is not wrong, no matter what is between their legs or what they see when they look in a mirror. I don’t want to live in a place where love like that can be wrong. Right now I’m still fighting for it, and I pray to God that I will still have the strength to fight for it as long as necessary. I don’t want to lose that drive, but there is only so much one can take. I’m fighting, but I’m scared.
Well, at least we know how to solve the peace issues in this area. Stage a pride protest once a week. That’ll keep them so busy, they won’t have time to bulldoze homes or strap bombs to themselves in pizzerias. I wonder if anyone’s ever thought of proposing that one.
I sure hope not.
In the meantime, I’ll be there proudly on Friday, barricaded in a tiny, non-residential, fully secular area, surrounded by 12 000 police officers holding back the angry fellow Jews who want to hurt because of love. My head will be held high, and I will be praying to God to keep me safe, asking God to allow the others to understand and tolerate or even accept, and thanking the same God for creating diversity, determination, passion, and love.
I sure hope it works.
If it doesn’t this time, it will next time. For as long as is necessary, until one day I’ll be able to look at my grandkids and, like the brave women who fought for suffrage, and like those today who were involved in the civil rights movements, say “You’ll never believe what we had to fight for when I was your age…”
The official website of the march (you can click on English in the left side)
http://www.worldpride.net/index.php?id=368
-It's the Jerusalem Open House
Articles from today:
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1162378347223&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull – one of my favourite articles on the issue
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1162378335639&pagename=JPost/JPArticle/ShowFull
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Proof that I'm a horrible blogger
I apologize now for not updating this for... about a month and a half. I write down what's been going on, but the internet has only recently started working for more than 7 minutes at a time. So over the next few days, I'll post the things I've been writing, and it might not be chronological but at least y'all will know what I'm up to, and I'll remember - since I have the memory approximately of a goldfish.
I'll just say this now: I am so happy. This is where I want to be, where I belong, and where I know I need to be. I've missed people and certain aspects of Toronto, but I haven't doubted my decision for a moment.
I'm living it up, I promise.
I'll just say this now: I am so happy. This is where I want to be, where I belong, and where I know I need to be. I've missed people and certain aspects of Toronto, but I haven't doubted my decision for a moment.
I'm living it up, I promise.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
A few days later...
Wow. So much has happened, and yet when I think about it, I haven't done anything so different than other people who go to school in a new place, which is a majority of you. Except, of course, go to Israel. But ya know.
The flight here was fairly uneventful - aside from the fact that I almost didn't make it on since my ticket seemed to have been left at home (*coughMOMcough*). After she rushed back to the airport in record time and we said a tearful good-bye, I ended up sitting beside Amy Manusow from Winnipeg. We found out that we both live on Waterloo though in different provinces. These things amuse me. :)
There were 15 of us Canucks on the group flight, from Toronto, Winnipeg, Montreal, Ottawa and Vancouver. All really nice, and I enjoyed getting to know them - though I ended up sleeping for most of the flight.
We arrived, and after some bag mishaps (not mine, thankfully) and luggage-struggling, we got onto the bus which took us directly to our dorms - it was about 7pm Israel time by then. My friend Elana Anzel-Sivkin and I were going to room together, but the assignments were already done. They ended up putting people from the flight together, so I'm with the Winnipeg girls - Amy, Steph and Faren, and Aviya arrived the next day. Our sixth roomie (if we have one) is a mystery. We're in building 40, room 7, which means it's 7 short flights up - each building is narrow and rectangular and has one apartment in each corner. Amy and I live in the first room together (we seem to be put together a lot), Faren is in the second room with a so-far empty bed, and Steph and Aviya are in the third. We have 1.5 bathrooms, a kitchen and a tiny blancony-type thing. It's pretty grungy but it's really nice at the same time - largely, I'm just excited to be in Israel and living on my own. The roomies are great - I'm a bit worried since they all knew each other before and I'm the outsider, but they're friendly and a lot of fun, and I'm sure it will work out wonderfully.
I'll write more soon - ulpan (intensive Hebrew class) has begun, I've gone out a few times, and run into a bunch of people who I knew before, as well as met some other amazing ones. Details to follow.
The flight here was fairly uneventful - aside from the fact that I almost didn't make it on since my ticket seemed to have been left at home (*coughMOMcough*). After she rushed back to the airport in record time and we said a tearful good-bye, I ended up sitting beside Amy Manusow from Winnipeg. We found out that we both live on Waterloo though in different provinces. These things amuse me. :)
There were 15 of us Canucks on the group flight, from Toronto, Winnipeg, Montreal, Ottawa and Vancouver. All really nice, and I enjoyed getting to know them - though I ended up sleeping for most of the flight.
We arrived, and after some bag mishaps (not mine, thankfully) and luggage-struggling, we got onto the bus which took us directly to our dorms - it was about 7pm Israel time by then. My friend Elana Anzel-Sivkin and I were going to room together, but the assignments were already done. They ended up putting people from the flight together, so I'm with the Winnipeg girls - Amy, Steph and Faren, and Aviya arrived the next day. Our sixth roomie (if we have one) is a mystery. We're in building 40, room 7, which means it's 7 short flights up - each building is narrow and rectangular and has one apartment in each corner. Amy and I live in the first room together (we seem to be put together a lot), Faren is in the second room with a so-far empty bed, and Steph and Aviya are in the third. We have 1.5 bathrooms, a kitchen and a tiny blancony-type thing. It's pretty grungy but it's really nice at the same time - largely, I'm just excited to be in Israel and living on my own. The roomies are great - I'm a bit worried since they all knew each other before and I'm the outsider, but they're friendly and a lot of fun, and I'm sure it will work out wonderfully.
I'll write more soon - ulpan (intensive Hebrew class) has begun, I've gone out a few times, and run into a bunch of people who I knew before, as well as met some other amazing ones. Details to follow.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Leaving in a few hours ...
... but am I packed? Of course not. I will be though.
I have a million and a half thoughts scampering through my mind, but foremost is the need to ensure I have enough clothing to stay warm and not have to do laundry twice a week. So I'll get back to that in a moment.
I can't believe it's here. I'm leaving. This is what I need and want to do, and have been waiting for since I began planning out my life ... so really, forever.
Am I nervous? Yes. But not about my personal safety and the war. I know I'll be fine. I'm worried for the country, and the future. Personally, I'm also a bit apprehensive about leaving for so long and so far away (even though it really is home), and with so little time to prepare.
Excitement is definitely the most prominent emotion though. I really can't wait for my adventure to start.
I have a million and a half thoughts scampering through my mind, but foremost is the need to ensure I have enough clothing to stay warm and not have to do laundry twice a week. So I'll get back to that in a moment.
I can't believe it's here. I'm leaving. This is what I need and want to do, and have been waiting for since I began planning out my life ... so really, forever.
Am I nervous? Yes. But not about my personal safety and the war. I know I'll be fine. I'm worried for the country, and the future. Personally, I'm also a bit apprehensive about leaving for so long and so far away (even though it really is home), and with so little time to prepare.
Excitement is definitely the most prominent emotion though. I really can't wait for my adventure to start.
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